Is ALPHA ‘Life changing’?

I wouldn’t say I came from a religious family, my parents pride themselves on going to church whenever invited – i.e. weddings, christenings and funerals. However I was christened as a baby and went to a C of E school, although that may have been based on location not faith. It was at school that I learnt the story of Jesus, Christian celebrations (Harvest, Easter, Christmas), prayer and sang hymns in worship. This was the foundation of my faith but it wavered through university and my early 20’s.

I met the love of my life and we started planning a wedding! It was important to us both to get married in Church and we wanted God to be part of our married life and future family. Hayden had had a much more Christian upbringing than me, regularly going to Church, Crusaders and studying the bible. I was obviously pleased that we shared our Christian faith and knew it made us stronger but I felt my faith wasn’t as secure as his, and I had big gaps in my knowledge and understanding of it.

We moved to Walton on Thames in November 2007 when I was 7 months pregnant and we started attending St John’s church at the top of our road. We instantly were made to feel welcome by the small but very friendly congregation. We agreed on bringing our family up within the church and being a Christian family, although I still felt I wasn’t necessarily qualified to teach my children about Christianity.  We regularly attended St John’s, had Owen christened there and got involved when we could.

I’d heard about the ALPHA course but didn’t really know what it was, other than people saying it had ‘changed their lives’, surely that can only be a good thing? I hoped this was my opportunity to learn more and deepen my faith – and with Owen starting nursery I had a free morning to dedicate to ALPHA without a Bob the Builder sticker book in hand.

On our first session I was struck by how lovely the other attendees were, all friendly and not at all strange! I found the format was a really refreshing way of looking at the bible. The talks from Nicky Gumbel were interesting, funny, relevant and provoked lots of questions – yes you can ask questions, in fact it is encouraged! I always found the discussions a great way to develop my understanding of that week’s topic and often found a link to something personal to me; it’s a safe environment to openly ask questions and share. I always left our sessions feeling upbeat, happy, optimistic and ready to take on the week ahead.

One week the topic was on healing, the talk as always was captivating and inspiring as was our discussion. At the end of our session John suggested we pray for anyone that wanted or needed some help. I didn’t say anything but John turned to look at me and said ‘I feel you need us to pray for you Lucy’, without saying a word I had tears in my eyes. I’d been having some problems but didn’t feel it was worthy of praying for, but when John asked me, it felt like God knew I needed help and was offering it to me. The whole group all laid their hands on me and prayed for me. I felt an overpowering sense of love, a warm sensation throughout my body and although my eyes were closed I saw a golden light.  It was an overwhelming experience on that day and also ever since as I felt I wasn’t alone and God was and is always with me. I took comfort from that day onwards and it has changed the way I feel on a daily basis.

The other big change in my daily life came through Prayer. After every ALPHA session we prayed together and sometimes prayed for each other but I found the structure of my prayers at home sometimes sounded a bit jumbled up and I was self-conscious that they didn’t make sense or weren’t heart felt. One night I went to check on Owen before I went to bed myself and as I saw him lying there I felt really emotional as I love him so much, I decided to sit next to him and pray. I laid my hand on him and thanked God for this precious gift in my life; I have so much to be thankful for that my adoration and thanks came straight from the heart and easily. I found it came naturally and filled me with such happiness and fulfillment that no matter what happened that day I went to bed thinking how lucky and grateful I was for all I have, and in turn I woke up feeling that way and being open to seeing the good, not the negative, and this has continued. It changed my outlook on life and therefore my general mood and therefore my experience of life. I feel content with myself and all the wonderful things in my life – which can’t help but put a smile on your face.

As part of the ALPHA course there is a weekend session dedicated to the Holy Spirit. It was really enjoyable with live music and meeting lots of new people. Near the end of the sessions we watched a film on people’s experience of the Holy Spirit; a bright light, falling to their knees, hearing a voice and collapsing to the floor. They spoke of messages, feelings of love, and one man spoke about his desire for the Holy Spirit but nothing had happened to him, until one morning at 4am he experienced the Holy Spirit in bed and was overjoyed. Well at hearing all of this I didn’t much fancy falling to the floor in front of all my new found friends so when everyone was encouraged to pray to experience the Holy Spirit, I prayed for the Holy Spirit NOT to visit me right there but that 4am one day would be fine. I left the event on a real high.

The following week John spoke about the Annual Parish Meeting, and that as members of the church we should go and participate in ‘our’ church. So I went along with a fellow ALPHA friend Paula. The meeting was like most AGM’s a lot of accounts and budget talk. Then it went on to talk of lack of volunteers, and David, the Church Warden, spoke of his frustration over nobody standing for Church Warden (and other roles). So again he was left alone with a huge responsibility, this frustration led him to think he wouldn’t stand again, until he remembered why he is active in the Church – the reason: because Jesus died on the Cross for us. Well that struck a cord with me!

On our way home Paula and I spoke about it, and how we were sure that the members of the parish were willing to help but maybe they needed someone to facilitate – to match the willingness with the need… well that night I was sound asleep until about 4am, when I woke and sat bolt upright and thought ‘I can facilitate it’! Lots of ideas of how I could do it flooded me, so I got my reading light out and wrote them down. It was an enlightening, empowering but peaceful vision, I put my pen down and went back to sleep.

The next morning I questioned if that was the Holy Spirit or baby brain talking, or maybe I could share my ideas and someone better qualified could fulfill it, as I’m certainly not someone the Holy Spirit gives a mission to, am I? Well I emailed my ideas to John and spoke to him that week at Alpha. He suggested I read Joshua 1 – it certainly helped and gave me another spur ‘maybe I can do this’.

Then it was Easter and I spent the holidays in Bristol with family. On Easter Sunday we went to Church and had communion, I’m not confirmed so I just went up for a blessing. When the vicar came to me and put his hand on my head, I was overwhelmed with warmth and a glow, I didn’t hear his prayer but I felt fantastic as I returned to my seat. On our way out of the church the vicar shook everyone’s hand, when I came to him he held onto my hand and said something like ‘when I came to you today I couldn’t give my normal prayer as I saw you are embarking on a special journey, you may not know what it is yet but you have a great task ahead of you and I pray for your success’. I just said ‘thank you’ smiled and kept walking. My husband said ‘That’s the volunteering business you’ve been banging on about’. I still thought maybe it was something else! Surely it isn’t that important and surely nor am I? That night when I prayed I asked for reassurance. I had a wonderful dream and woke up feeling really confident I could put my plan into action.

The mission is still in its planning stage but my aim is to get it up and running before I have my second baby (early October) so please keep your eyes open for notices and your hearts open to the opportunity of being more active in your parish.

ALPHA has deepened my faith, filled me with confidence as a Christian, given me a more positive outlook on my wonderful life and future.

I am getting confirmed in December, which feels like another positive step in my new life.

So they are right ALPHA is ‘Life changing’ – and for the good.

Lucy Flower – August 2011

ALPHA starts again in the Autumn with a launch event with guest speaker Jago Wynne from Holy Trinity Brompton. It will be held at 7.30pm on the 8^th September at St John’s church, Ambleside Avenue. I urge anyone who has not done ALPHA to do it! Contact John for more details and/or to sign up – John Muggleton (224 244)  jomug@talktalk.net